


Butterfly Kisses and Birthday Wishes

by CaptainKathryn



Series: Butterfly Kisses 'verse [1]
Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Coming of Age, Connor and Kevin being adorable, Connor makes Kevin wait, Demisexuality, First Everything, First Kiss, First Love, First Time Sex, Fluff, Insecurity, Internalized Homophobia, Kevin learns what love is, Love, M/M, Nervousness, Sweet, mcpriceley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 05:09:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10564272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainKathryn/pseuds/CaptainKathryn
Summary: A stolen caress and inadvertent cuddle during Movie Night plunges Connor McKinley and Kevin Price into their first ever romantic relationship in post-canon Uganda. As their relationship progresses, Kevin tries to move things a little bit faster than Connor is ready for, but eventually the time is right for both of them.Aka Connor and Kevin share all of their firsts together.





	

It was four months since the Elders decided to forgo the Mormon Church and remain in Uganda after District 9 was formally shut down. It hadn’t been easy for the Elders to accept their new way of life without regulations and scripture holding them back from truly being themselves. Rules and blind devotion to the strict Mormon way of life were all they had ever known, so making this type of sudden change was quite the challenge, to say the least.

Nevertheless, they were all slowly coming into their own and figuring out who they genuinely were, instead of being the cookie cutter Mormon poster boys they had all been told they should be.

For example, Elder Thomas discovered he had an affinity for black coffee and murder mystery novels and even staged a murder mystery luncheon one Saturday afternoon, much to the delight of the other Elders and the villagers. Arnold started teaching over at the village school and spent the majority of his free time with his new girlfriend, Nabulungi. Elder Church took up painting and discovered he was actually quite good at it too. Not that he couldn’t paint before as a Mormon, but he just didn’t have the time or the encouragement to do so. Elder Davis was especially adept at building and fixing things which was great when it came to helping the villagers out with handyman jobs.

However, Elder Kevin Price was still having trouble with his newfound freedom. He just wasn’t sure what it was that he was supposed to be _doing_ anymore. He kept on trying out new things and found, each time, that he wasn’t particularly gifted at anything. He’d spent his entire life trying to be the perfect _Mormon_. _That_ was what he excelled at doing. Now, he didn’t even have that anymore.

Kevin was still on speaking terms with his parents though, thank goodness. He knew he could always return home to them if this didn’t work out. But, he wanted so badly for it to work out. The other Elders and himself were all working extremely hard to try and make their little home and village here a nice place to live and he was enjoying watching it grow into something truly special. He just wished he knew what he was supposed to be doing. He may not have been a real Mormon anymore, but he still wanted to do something _incredible_.

Throughout the transition to more a more authentic existence, he was also finding himself growing closer to his friend Elder Connor McKinley, their District Leader, but he wasn’t quite sure what any of it meant just yet. Throughout his entire life, he’d never really had any kind of sexual or romantic attraction to anyone, so he wasn’t quite sure what those feelings were even supposed to _feel_ like. He was always much too focused on being the best at school or at church to worry about something as frivolous as _romance_. Was it actually attraction he had for Connor or was he just happy to have another really great friend in his life? Then again, Arnold was his close friend as well and he wasn’t questioning his sexuality over his relationship with Arnold. But, he wasn't… _gay…_ was he _?_ That just wouldn't make any sense, thought Kevin. Still, a tiny voice inside of him was nagging at his sensibilities, telling him otherwise.

Elder McKinley, unlike the others, had pretty much always known who he was deep down inside. Growing up, he knew right away that he was just a little bit _different_ from the other Mormon boys his age. As a kid, he took tap dance classes and singing lessons and daydreamed about starring in a Broadway show one day when he grew up. In 5 th grade, he developed a hopeless crush on his very straight best friend, Steve Blade, and experienced his first of many subsequent unreciprocated crushes. In high school, while the other Mormon teenaged boys were going on and on about their innocent first kisses with members of the opposite sex, he pretended to be uninterested in relationships. In truth, he longed for that type of closeness and companionship with another person, but he just wasn’t interested in _girls_.

No, Elder Connor McKinley knew _exactly_ who he was at a young age. He just wasn’t allowed to _be_ that person. Now, with the stifling and restrictive teachings of the Mormon church no longer in his way, he wasn’t exactly sure how to go about being… _himself_ again. After spending so many years pretending to be someone else, it wasn’t so easy to just turn himself back on overnight. Ironically so, he thought, considering he’d always had to expend a considerable amount of effort to suppress it.

It didn’t help that what had started off as an innocent, hopeless crush on Elder Kevin Price was rapidly turning into deeper feelings of care and affection. Now that he no longer had to hide who he truly was, he just wasn’t sure what he should _do_ about it.

When he was a Mormon, it was easy. You kept it hidden, you held it in, you never told anyone anything. It was straightforward. Simple.

Now, everything was different. Sharing a life with a person who loved him, a _man_ who loved him, was suddenly a real possibility for the future. He wanted desperately to tell Kevin how he felt, but he wasn’t sure if Kevin even had _those_ types of feeling toward other men. He had his suspicions at times, sure, but he just wasn’t certain. Once in a while, though, usually while the two Elders were alone together quietly making dinner or doing the laundry, he would catch Kevin giving him occasional affectionate glances, but he honestly wasn’t sure if they were real or just wishful thinking.

Nevertheless, throughout the ups, downs and bumps along the way, Connor felt they were all making great progress towards living a life without so much falseness.

 

* * *

 

“Good afternoon, Elders!” Connor McKinley exclaimed melodically as he ran into the small living room of the mission house. “I have exciting news!”

A mixture of oohs and ahhs came from the group of Elders sitting in the living room, chatting away and happily eating their lunches. They all looked up expectantly toward McKinley.

“I was just over at the school, helping out with the play and all, and Arnold told me that it’s Nabulungi’s 21st birthday next month. And he asked if _we_ would be down for throwing her a surprise birthday party!” Connor explained enthusiastically to the group, bouncing up and down a little in excitement. “Of course, I said heck to the yes! Can you believe she’s never had a birthday party before?”

“She’s _never_ had a birthday party? That’s so…sad.” Kevin said glumly.

Elder McKinley shrugged at the comment. He would have bet anything Kevin’s parents threw him the best birthday parties every year growing up and adorned him with tons of presents.

“True, but don’t worry, we’ll make up for all that.” Connor smiled optimistically over at Kevin. “This party is going to be ah-maaaz-inggg!” He sang his words joyfully.

McKinley’s expression then turned slightly more focused. “Okay, guys, serious question time. Do you think we should…I mean, I’m really not sure but…well, what do you guys think about maybe having… _alcohol_ at the party?”

Shocked whispers and gasps came from throughout the group, followed by several stifled giggles.

Kevin’s mouth slid upward into a mischievous grin as he felt a rush of excitement pulsate through his body at the thought. “ _Alcohol_? Do you really think we’re ready for that? I mean, that’s a big step, no?”

Connor had to admit that it was indeed a big step for them considering it had only been a few months since they’d separated from the Church. Alcohol was strictly forbidden in the Mormon faith and none of them had ever even _tried_ it before, let alone gotten tipsy.

“I vote yes!” Elder Thomas blurted out and raised his hand after the Elders all had a moment to consider the proposition. He immediately blushed and took his hand down when no one else chimed in right away. “Um, I mean …if _you_ all want…”

Elder Church piped in and raised his hand. “I second that!”

Slowly, all of the Elders agreed to allow alcohol at the party they would be throwing, much to Elder McKinley’s enthusiasm.

“Oh my gosh, you guys! This is going to be so exciting.” Connor mused, holding his hands over his mouth and shaking his head in near disbelief. “Now, I know it’s going to be everyone’s first time having alcohol, so we’ll want to take it slow and not drink _too_ much, alright?”

The other Elders nodded and looked excitedly to one another, shy giggles popping up throughout the group.

Connor sat down and looked around at the group of Elders, a proud smile dancing across his face. He couldn’t believe how far they’d come in just a short amount of time.

 

* * *

 

Later that night, the group of Elders assembled in the living room for their weekly movie night. Nearly every Friday night of the week, the Elders would all lay their sleeping bags and blankets out onto the living room floor in rows and make copious amounts of popcorn and various snacks to share. They would usually play a board game or two and watch several movies before falling asleep way past what was once their ten o’clock curfew. It was the best night of the week, for sure, and everyone always looked forward to it.

It was well past two o’ clock in the morning on this movie night and Kevin and Connor were seated next to one another on the only couch in the room, while the other Elders were all snoring quietly in their sleeping bags, rogue kernels of popcorn scattered everywhere atop the blankets. There was still about an hour left of the movie they had been watching, but everyone else had passed out for the night, leaving just Kevin and Connor the only ones awake. Well, _Connor_ was still awake at least. Kevin was barely holding onto consciousness. Always a silent rule breaker, Connor had been a night owl ever since he was a kid so he was perfectly fine at this early morning hour.

“We can turn it off if you’re tired.” Connor whispered softly into Kevin’s ear. The other boy was sprawled haphazardly across the couch, his head leaning up against Connor’s shoulder for support. Clearly struggling to keep his eyes opened, Kevin occasionally knocked into the bowl of popcorn that was resting flimsily atop Connor’s lap, causing kernels to spill out onto the floor.

Kevin shook his head and sat up slightly to prove that he was indeed awake, sleepily rubbing his eyes and whacking the popcorn bowl again. “No way, I need to see what happens to what’s her face.” He pointed to the television and mumbled as his head rested back down onto Connor’s shoulder. Connor giggled inwardly and turned his eyes back toward the movie.

A few minutes later, Kevin’s eyes began to involuntarily close once more and Connor felt the boy’s body slump lax against his side. Connor didn’t want to admit it, but he loved the feeling of Kevin’s body leaning against his own, even if the only reason was because the other boy was fast asleep. He knew it didn’t mean anything, but it still made his insides turn to goo and his stomach tighten.

“Liar.” Connor retorted in the quietest whisper he could muster, lowering his head to rest near Kevin’s ear. A stray piece of Kevin’s soft hair accidentally brushed up against Connor’s nose, followed by his cheek, sending an electric tingle throughout his body.

“Oh.” Connor allowed a soft moan to escape his lips at the unexpected sensation. His entire body suddenly felt warm and light. Seemingly not able to control himself, he moved his cheek back and forth so that it brushed up against Kevin’s hair again. It had to be a sin for anything to feel that good. He felt a nagging tightness start to grow in his pajama bottoms as he secretly allowed the softness of Kevin’s hair to caress his face.

Kevin stirred in his sleep at the touch. “Mmmm.” He mumbled sleepily. “Connor?”

Connor was shaken out of his stolen moment of bliss and blushed a beet shade of red. “Sorry, Kevin. I think you’re falling asleep.”

“No, I’m not.” Kevin said defiantly in a pouty whisper and placed his head back into the nook between Connor’s shoulder and neck.

Connor chuckled. “Yes, you are.”

“Noooo.” Kevin grumbled, his eyes still closed, and leaned into Connor’s side. “I’m up…I’m up.”

Kevin’s hair was in complete disarray, tousled and puffed up from rolling around on the couch. Connor just adored the other boy’s hair. It may have easily been his favorite physical feature of Kevin’s. Then again, there were so many favorites. He just looked so innocently adorable when his hair was all tangled and messy. He would have cut off his right arm to be able to tenderly run his fingers through it.

“Come on, sleepy head. It’s bed time.” Connor whispered into Kevin’s ear. He had an overwhelming urge to run his nose and cheek along the boy’s hair again, but managed to restrain himself. The heat that was surging throughout his body did not let up though.

Kevin shook his head, pouting, and inadvertently wrapped an arm over Connor’s midsection while unconsciously rearranging his sleep position. The bowl of popcorn long abandoned, Kevin’s arm was now haphazardly wrapped around the other boy’s waist. It almost seemed as though Kevin was snuggling him, but that wasn’t possible, Connor thought.

Connor lifted up his arms so that they were no longer resting on Kevin, afraid that any touch he gave the other boy could be interpreted as a romantic gesture. He just wasn’t sure what to do now. He could have just moved over and laid down on the couch and let Kevin lay beside him, but waking up like that the next morning would be awkward and weird for sure. He ultimately decided to be a gentleman and delicately shook Kevin awake.

“Hey, Kev, wake up. Come on, wakey uppy.” Connor cooed softly, rocking Kevin back and forth to jar him awake. “Let’s get you back to your sleeping bag.”

Kevin groaned loudly in protest, but Connor lifted him up anyway and walked him over to his makeshift bed. “Shhhh, you’ll wake everyone up.” Connor chided gently as he laid Kevin down into his sleeping bag. An adorably small snore escaped Kevin’s nose as he relaxed into the blanket.

Once Kevin was laying down asleep, Connor managed to pull the top of the blanket out from underneath the sleeping boy to cover him up. “Sweet dreams.” Connor spoke gently as he knelt down beside Kevin to finish tucking him into the sleeping bag.

For a few moments longer, Connor simply gazed down at the sleeping figure of Kevin Price with a look of unrequited longing written all over his face. Without exactly realizing it, he bent down and ran a shaky hand through Kevin’s hair. The feeling of the boy’s silky locks flowing delicately between his fingers made his heart flutter and sent a surge of adrenaline to his groin as he felt the tightness in his pants resurge with urgency.

His moment of reverie was soon interrupted, however. Connor jumped back in fright when he saw Kevin’s eyes suddenly snap open. Oh, sure, _now_ he decides to wake up, he thought to himself.

Connor immediately retracted his hand from Kevin’s tousled hair and nervously stood up. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. The two boys just stared at one another in shock for a second or two, but it felt like millennia had passed.

“Oh gosh, Kevin—I didn’t mean to—”, Connor started apologetically before covering his face in shame. “I’m sorry.” His voice cracked as his spoke. “Kevin, I’m so sorry.”

Kevin wasn’t sure what to say or how to react. He wasn’t even sure what exactly had transpired. He just knew that he felt someone running their fingers through his hair and when he opened his eyes, Connor’s face was mere inches from his own, looking down at him with a weird look on his face. Kevin was sure of one thing though—whatever Connor was doing to his hair felt awfully good.

“Don’t be.” Kevin chalked up the courage to say in a barely audible whisper. “It’s okay.” His lips then curled up into a tired smirk. “I mean, I know I have nice hair.”

 _Is this actually happening?_ Connor thought to himself as a flood of emotions washed over him. He couldn’t even think straight. What was happening? Was this another dream?

Connor just blinked and nodded. “Yes, right. Well, okay. So, goodnight then.” He replied awkwardly, cautiously backing away from the boy’s sleeping bag in a hazy, almost drunken, stupor. Connor accidentally bumped into the bookshelf behind him as he was backing up, before turning to go in the right direction, away from Kevin.

Kevin slowly laid back down and watched as Connor backed away. “Goodnight.” He whispered.

Sweat was pouring down McKinley’s face as he retired to his own sleeping bag on the other side of the room, an all-too-familiar achy feeling in the pit of his stomach and a lone tear rolling down his cheek.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, it was Kevin’s turn to help Connor make breakfast for the group. Before heading out to the kitchen, however, he ran into his bedroom before the others woke up to try and sort out what happened the night before between himself and Connor. He just wanted to try and identify whatever he was feeling. The issue was, even after an hour of thinking about it, he still wasn’t sure _what_ he was feeling.

The only thing he knew for certain was that he definitely liked being touched that way, in the way Connor had touched him the night before. No one else had ever touched him like that…in _that_ way before. Sure, his mom gave him little kisses and tousled his hair once in a while, but that was entirely different. Not at all like when Connor did it. When the other Elder ran his fingers through his hair, all Kevin wanted to do was reach up and pull his face down into a kiss. Why was that? He wasn’t gay, so what on Earth would make him want to do _that_? Why would he _ever_ want to do that with… _Connor_? What if being here, with all these guys, was _making_ him gay? His mind raced on and on but the answer still eluded him.

All he knew for certain was that he really enjoyed how the touch made him feel inside. And he definitely liked that Connor was the one making him feel it.

 

* * *

 

Finally, at about ten o’clock, Kevin left the sanctity of his bedroom to go and help Connor make breakfast per their job assignments.

He was surprised, however, upon entering the kitchen, that breakfast was nearly completed already. Kevin slowly approached Connor, whose back was turned to him and his front facing their tiny stove, working on making what looked like eggs and pancakes.  
  
After a few moments of silence, Kevin resigned to awkwardly greeting the other Elder. “Good morning!” Kevin squeaked out gingerly.

Connor abruptly turned around and panicked when he saw Kevin’s face, dropping the hot pan he was holding, causing pancakes to spill out onto the floor.

“Shit!” Connor cursed loudly as he knelt down to pick up the pancakes, stunning the other boy. Kevin had never, ever, after all the time they had been here together, heard Connor curse. Not even once.

The pancakes were piping hot though and Connor burned his hands trying to pick them up off the floor. Kevin could clearly see now that the other boy was purposely trying to avoid looking at him and was panicking at his presence.

“Owwww!” Connor yelled, clutching his hand. “Ow, ow, owww!”

“I’m so sorry!” Kevin shouted and knelt down to help Connor up off the floor. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’ll pick these up, go run your hands under the cold water.”

Connor went over to the sink solemnly without looking in his direction or saying a word.

Kevin wasn’t sure what was going on. Was Connor mad at him? Why would he be mad at him? Was it because of last night? So many questions.

Connor’s face was now a bright shade of red and he was desperately trying to avoid Kevin’s frequent glances. The cold water running over his burns calmed him down a bit. “You don’t have to help me, Kevin. I’ll be fine.”

“No. No, you’re clearly not fine.” Kevin stammered and walked over to McKinley and reached out to comfort him. Connor flinched and turned away from Kevin, facing the wall, his hands moving up to cover his face in shame.

“Connor. Connor, look at me.” Kevin chided softly, resting a hand on the back of Connor’s shoulder. He could feel that the other boy was now sobbing.

“Oh, gosh.” Kevin let out a sigh. “I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” Kevin gently rubbed Connor’s shoulder, causing him to startle at the touch.

The boy stopped sobbing momentarily and turned around, but continued staring at the floor. Kevin could see Connor’s eyes were glassy from fresh tears beginning to form as the old ones dripped furiously down his face. Connor hiccupped suddenly and covered his mouth in shame. Kevin didn’t like seeing him in this condition, but he wasn’t sure how to make it any better. He didn’t even know what was wrong.

Connor shook his head and finally looked up to meet the other boy’s gaze. Kevin’s eyes were big and kind and apologetic. Connor let out a deep breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding before hiccupping again. “You big dope. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Connor finally allowed some small semblance of a shy smile to cross his lips. “Why would you even think that?”

Kevin scoffed. “You won’t even look at me! What am I supposed to think?”

“It’s not always about you, Kevin.” Connor stuttered, turning away from him, another hiccup escaping his lips. “You always—you always think everything is about you.”

Kevin’s heart sank and a confused expression washed over his face. He had actually hoped it _was_ about him, about the moment they had shared the night before. Didn’t that matter to Connor as much as it did to him? He began to question himself.

“Oh.” Kevin replied sadly and took a step back away from Connor. “I see. What’s wrong then?”

Connor wiped his eyes and shook his head. “Me. It’s me. I’m such a dumb, stupid jerk.” He hiccupped again and looked down to the floor, feeling humiliated. “I’m so sorry, Kevin.”

Kevin was very confused now. “What? Why?”

“Why do you _think_?” Connor snapped at him, looking up. “Last night…remember? I—I _touched_ you?”

A giant grin involuntarily plastered itself over Kevin’s face. “So I was right…it _was_ about me, then, wasn’t it?”

Connor rolled his eyes knowingly and grabbed a tissue to wipe his eyes with. “Yeah, fine. I guess it was.” Connor blew his nose into the tissue and dabbed his eyes. “Happy?”

Kevin’s smile faded when he saw how broken up Connor truly was about this whole thing.

“Well, why does this have to be such a bad thing anyway? I’m a little confused here. I already said it was okay. We can just forget about it. I mean, if you want to, that is.” Kevin stammered, then thought better of it. “Um, what I meant to say was…only if you want to.”

Truthfully, Kevin wanted to do anything except forget about it. The only thing he could think about since the night before was how good it felt to be touched with such tenderness and purpose. All he knew was that that’s how he wanted to be touched all the time.

Connor let out a frustrated sigh and paced back and forth for a few moments before looking back up at Kevin. “What do you mean _if I want to_? Don’t _you_ want to forget it? I mean, you’re not even—“, Connor paused and stepped a bit closer to Kevin, this time gazing deep into his brown eyes, as if examining the other boy for a moment. Another hiccup. “You’re not even…you’re not like _me_.” He paused again for a moment, a confused look now spreading over his face. “I mean…wait, _are_ you?”

Kevin froze. The truth was, he had no idea _what_ he ‘was’. “I—I don’t know.” He shifted uncomfortably. “Does it matter?”

A sad smile crossed Connor’s face. “Yeah, kind of.”

Kevin was so innocent and sweet, Connor thought to himself, he could barely contain his urge to pull him into an embrace.

“I mean, in order to…to _do_ anything about it…you know, with each other.” Connor stammered. His pale Irish skin instantly turned beet red at the notion of them having sexual relations.

He continued. “You would have to be…at least, I would _think_ you would have to be…um…” Connor was at a loss for words. Why did he even need to explain this to him? Shouldn’t he know already?

“So…are you?” Connor asked so softly, Kevin could barely hear him. “Like… _me_?”

Kevin shook his head and thought for a moment. “I have no idea. All I know is that I really like being around you. Your laugh makes me feel happy, especially when I’m the one who made you laugh. I like when you smile and I really hate it when you’re sad.”

Kevin swallowed hard and looked around worriedly, half expecting to see the group of Elders standing there, watching him with judgment on their faces. But there was nobody there. “Um, and I actually liked being so close to you last night. It felt…nice. Um, when you covered me and put your hand through my hair, I felt all weird inside. I’ve never felt that way before, about anyone. I mean, I never had any time for liking girls. Or guys. Or anyone, really.” Kevin blushed and looked down at his shoes. “Does that…does that make me… _gay_?”

Connor considered the question seriously for moment before answering honestly. “I—I actually don’t know.” He stepped closer to Kevin so he was only an inch or so away from his face. “But maybe we can find out.”

Connor suddenly leaned in and placed such a soft kiss to Kevin’s lips that he wasn’t sure either of them would even feel it. But, they felt it. It felt like being kissed by a thousand butterflies. Every nerve ending in Kevin’s body was all of a sudden standing on edge. The brush of Connor’s lips on his sent such a powerful wave of electricity bounding through his body that he swore he should have gotten electrocuted. He couldn’t think straight. All rational thinking was gone and replaced by pure emotion, raw need.

Kevin had never been kissed before in his life. At least, not by anyone other than his mother. Now, he suddenly understood what all the fuss was about. It felt like _magic_ and fireworks, as though his entire body was now weightless and he was swimming in a sea of marshmallows and puppies and love. Then suddenly Connor pulled away. Why did he pull away? They had only kissed for an instant, but to Kevin it felt like eternity and eternity was supposed to last forever.

As Connor pulled back and gazed upon Kevin’s stunned face, his heart flooded with a mixture of emotions. He wanted to slap Kevin for being so naïve and sweet because he could barely stand it and at the same time he just wanted to rip all of his clothes off and have him right here on the kitchen floor.

Kevin blinked a couple of times in shock and steadied himself against the counter. His brain still had not fully processed what had just happened. He just stared at Connor with pleading eyes, begging him to come back for another kiss.

“Well?” Connor asked softly, hesitantly, dreading that the answer would be that it was the most disgusting thing he’d ever felt and he would punch Connor if he ever dared touch him again.

“Wow.” Kevin exhaled in a small voice, as though he was suddenly a child again. “I—“, he stammered, as he finally caught his breath. He thought for sure his stomach contents were up around his throat by now from the enormity of the moment. His tummy ached with a flurry of butterflies and tsunamis and he still couldn’t think straight. “I—I think I really like kissing.”

Connor’s face burst into the largest grin Kevin had ever seen. And it was so beautiful, all Kevin wanted to do was to reach out and touch it. Connor leaned in and grabbed Kevin’s face again, pulling him in for another, more passionate kiss.

This time, Kevin was certain his insides must have completely evaporated. He felt like a plate of soft melted butter and Connor was a piece of French toast, soaking him all up. Unlike last time they had kissed, this time Connor slowly slid his tongue gently into Kevin’s mouth, in and out, which caused Kevin’s knees to give way and buckle underneath him. He had to lean back onto the counter for full support as Connor pressed his body into him, running his fingers through Kevin’s soft, brunette hair with one hand and cupping his cheek with the other. Kevin had no idea why Connor’s tongue inside of his mouth felt so impossibly good, but it did. Oh, it did. Each flicker of his tongue caused a surge of raw sensation to ripple throughout his body. He was on fire and he wondered why he hadn’t yet self-combusted from the intensity of the heat. He’d never felt anything this amazing or insanely addictive in his life.

Finally, Connor pulled back and gazed into Kevin’s eyes. They looked glassy and scared and mesmerized and infinite.

“Oh.” Connor softly moaned and placed his lips back onto Kevin’s, this time pulling him into an embrace as he did so. As he pulled Kevin in closer, Connor could feel the other boy’s hardness pressed up against his leg. Connor suddenly froze in the middle of their third kiss. Hardness? He wasn’t quite ready for that yet.

When Connor pulled back this time, he backed up a few inches and let Kevin breathe. Kevin was clutching the countertop for support and gasped several times to catch his breath.

“Oh my…god.” Kevin exclaimed, panting. “That was…amazing.” He looked hopefully up to Connor that he would come back and kiss him again. And again. And again…and never stop kissing him. “Please…again?” Was all he was able to muster out in his state of complete dishevelment.

Connor’s erection was nearly popping out of his pants at the sight of Kevin’s adorable disarray—his hair poofy and messy from where Connor had tousled it, his cheeks flushed pink with arousal, and he had the most wonderful pleading look on his face. The boy looked as though he had just ridden an incredibly scary, yet sinfully exhilarating, rollercoaster and was begging to run back on. He knew how Kevin was feeling for he felt the same way. But, they couldn’t give in just yet. He wanted to get to know Kevin… _really_ get to know Kevin before they went any further.

Kevin, ever impatient, finally had enough and leaned in to give Connor another kiss, but Connor gently stopped him. “Hold on a second, let’s—let’s, um, let’s just calm down and talk about this for a minute.” Connor asked softly as he backed up a few inches. “Okay?”

Kevin couldn’t compute Connor’s words. Why would anyone not want to feel what he had just felt twenty-four hours a day? It didn’t make any sense. He then suddenly had a terrifying thought. What if it wasn’t as good for Connor as it was for him?

“Oh, no. Was it—was I—“, Kevin stammered, trying to remember how to speak words. “I mean, did you not… _like_ it?”

Connor’s eyes widened in surprise before playfully slapping Kevin in the arm. “You’re so silly sometimes. Of course I liked it. It was…amazing. You’re amazing.” He said shyly and blushed that same red. “But, we should really…figure this all out first.”

Kevin couldn’t comprehend Connor’s words at all. What was there to figure out? They would obviously kiss all day every day and do nothing except that.

“Oh. But I don’t understand?” Kevin asked again, his boyish face puzzled, still trying to compose himself. He felt the unfamiliar feeling of an erection threatening to burst out of his pants. He had only had an erection several times before in his life, he could count them on one hand.Romance and sex just wasn’t on his mind very much as a teenager. He knew that occasionally he would ejaculate in his sleep when he was younger, but he knew that was just biology doing its thing. The Church taught all young Mormon boys to never, under any circumstances, touch themselves down there. So he never did. He was a good Mormon boy.

Connor shook his head knowingly and looked fondly onto Kevin, his eyes glassy from the crying and the kissing and the moment. “Gosh, you’re so adorable.” It took every ounce of strength he possessed not to take Kevin’s face into his and kiss him again. Somehow, though, he restrained himself.

Connor cleared his throat and spoke with more forcefulness this time. “I just…I just need to know if you—if you _really_ like me or not?” Connor asked hesitantly, stepping forward and taking one of Kevin’s sweat-laden hands into his own. “You know, as in really like me for _me_.”

Kevin, again, didn’t understand why they were doing this. Of _course_ he liked him. This was an exercise in futility. “What?” Kevin asked, frustrated and bothered, as if not understanding the question. He still didn’t quite have his breath fully back either. “Is that—is that even a real question?”

Connor flushed and looked down to the floor nervously. “I mean, I don’t want to…start anything with you if you don’t _really_ like me. Am I making any sense?”

Kevin shook his head and leaned in so he was now right up against Connor’s face once more. He struggled to restrain himself from planting kisses all over the boy’s face. “Connor, I like you…I like you so much. You have…no idea how much.” Kevin answered earnestly, lifting a hand up to wipe a stray tear from Connor’s eyelid. “Really, I do.”

“But did you like me in that way…before today?” Connor asked shyly. “Because…I definitely liked you. Even before all the kissing.”

Kevin didn’t know what Connor meant. He’d always liked him. Okay, maybe not always in the _romantic_ sense, but he always liked him as a friend and a human being. Connor was one of the best humans he had ever known. And if he was going to be completely honest with himself, he’d even liked him in _that_ way for the past couple of months.

“Did I like you before today? Of course I liked you. You’re funny and kind and you care about everyone. You smell like flowers all the time even after you’ve been working outside all day. You’re a good leader because you don’t like to boss people around too much and you let everyone figure out what they’re good at. You never force anything on anyone. And you have soft skin.” He reached up and ran a gentle hand over Connor’s cheek. “You have really soft skin. It’s light and freckled and pretty.”

Kevin bit his lip. God, why couldn’t Connor just kiss him again already? “And you’re sweet to everyone, but I really love how sweet you are to me. You make us breakfast and dinner and you always take the garbage out and you never mind helping us out with anything. And that’s not everything. There are a million and one more reasons to like you. You’re the best. You’re just…incredible.”

By the time Kevin was finally finished listing out all of the things he adored about Connor, the other boy’s eyes were filled with unshed tears which were slowly leaking out and dripping down his face. Suddenly he made what sounded like an awful, wretched sound and leaned in to bury his face into Kevin’s neck. Kevin wasn’t sure, again, what was going on but his first instinct was to wrap his arms around Connor and hold him as tight and close as he possibly could.

After a minute or two, Connor’s sobbing subsided and he looked up at Kevin. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He mustered out in a small voice as a smile crept up onto his face.

Kevin’s face lit up with his broad, famously irresistible grin that made Connor feel like Jell-o. “Good. Now will you kiss me again?”

Connor nodded, smiling sweetly, and placed his soft lips onto Kevin’s.

 

* * *

 

Four weeks had passed since Connor and Kevin admitted their mutual affection for one another, but they were still trying to keep it hidden from the other Elders at Connor’s insistence. Kevin didn’t understand why it had to be a secret. Everyone already knew Connor was gay. They had left the Mormon Church so it no longer mattered that he was gay. Why did he even care who knew? All Kevin wanted to do was shout it from every rooftop in Uganda, but he refrained out of respect for his partner’s wishes.

Connor also wanted to take things a little slower than Kevin, physically at least, much to Kevin’s chagrin, but Kevin obliged willingly. He just wanted Connor to be happy. That was all that mattered now, that Connor was happy and that he was the one making him happy. All of the things Kevin used to think mattered to him suddenly didn’t matter in the slightest. All he wanted to do was make Connor’s face light up into a smile and watch as he squirmed and moaned from even the slightest touch.

Finding time alone together was proving to be quite difficult, though, with the other Elders around, as they were all helping Connor and Arnold get ready for Nabulungi’s birthday party that weekend. Kevin felt especially guilty about not telling Arnold about his new relationship with Connor. After all, Arnold was his best friend, platonically anyway, and it didn’t feel right keeping a secret this big from him.

Arnold and Kevin were busy hanging the happy birthday banner and blowing up balloons for Nabulungi’s party when Connor hobbled in, holding five giant bags of groceries. Kevin leapt off of his stool and ran speedily to assist Connor with the bags.

“Let me get these for you.” Kevin said, grabbing them out of Connor’s hands.

“How very chivalrous of you.” Connor jested, giving him a knowing look.

Kevin’s arms instantly dropped when he felt how much weight was in the bags. “Gosh, these are heavy.”

Arnold observed the exchange with a confused look on his face as he watched Kevin blush a deep shade of red as he brought the bags into the kitchen. Connor followed him, a giant grin on his face, and they closed the kitchen door promptly behind them. Arnold had noticed those two acting a little bit…odd…together lately, but figured that if anything was going on, he would find out from Kevin soon enough.

“Come here, you.” Kevin moaned the moment they were alone together, dropping the bags and pulling Connor into an embrace that quickly devolved into a deep kiss. Kevin’s hands were wandering as they always did, causing Connor to gasp for breath.

Connor’s heart fluttered uncontrollably whenever Kevin touched him. He had thought it would lessen after a few weeks of touching continuously, but to no avail. Kevin slowly ran his hands over Connor’s back before untucking the back of his partner’s shirt from his pants. Kevin reached down and moved his hands up gently underneath Connor’s shirt, slowly trailing his fingers across the skin of his back, sending Connor into a pit of ecstasy.

“Oh, gosh. No, stop.” Connor moaned through the kiss and mumbled. “Stop, please stop…”

Kevin pulled his lips off of Connor, but left his arms around him and his hands still stroked the sensitive skin of his back. “Why do we have to stop?” Kevin asked, his eyes big and pleading like a puppy dog. “You always tell me to stop.”

Connor licked his lips and smiled wickedly. “Because every time you do that, I just want to tear your clothes off and it's not…we’re just _not_ ready for that yet. Plus, _everyone_ is home right now. And we have…” Connor took in a gasp as Kevin moved his hand up to run a gentle caress over the skin of his upper back. It tingled.

“Oh, oh god.” Connor moaned, clutching Kevin’s shoulders. He composed himself enough to point to the grocery bags, “we have…a lot of baking to do.”

The pressure in Connor’s pants was at an all time out of control level. Kevin had to stop touching him now or nothing would get done. Ever.

Connor whimpered to Kevin as though begging for mercy and leaned back into the counter, Kevin was still delicately caressing his partner’s back. “Stop, Kevin, please stop.” He moaned, obviously not truly wanting Kevin to stop.

Kevin reluctantly slipped his hands out from under Connor’s shirt and ran a shaky hand through his partner’s hair. “When will it be time, again?”

Connor straightened up his shirt and caught his breath. “When it’s right. We’ll both just know, okay?”

“I already know.” Kevin pouted and gave Connor a small peck on the cheek. “It’s right now. It’s always right now.”

Connor laughed and wiped some of the sweat off of Kevin’s forehead with a tissue. Typical Kevin, always used to getting everything he wants when he wants it. “Not yet, okay? It’s not the right time yet.”

Kevin nodded reluctantly and turned his eyes toward the bags, trying to ignore the burning heat emanating from himself and Connor. “So, uh, what are we making first?”

Connor straightened himself up and moved toward the bags, grinning. “Birthday cake!” He exclaimed happily and reached in and took out several cake mix boxes and and icing containers. “Wanna help me make it?”

“Sure.” Kevin said, smiling down at his slightly shorter boyfriend. “Any reason to spend time with you is a good reason.” He leaned down and placed a small, delicate kiss on Connor’s forehead, wrapping him up in a sweet embrace.

 _He will be my undoing_ , thought Connor, as he suppressed the urge to start kissing him again. “You’re so sweet.” Connor said in a throaty voice, nuzzling into the embrace, and allowing Kevin to place an array of small kisses on his head.

Kevin placed one final kiss on his forehead before pulling back. “Okay, I’m ready to be helpful now.”

After about an hour of baking, Connor and Kevin were covered from head to toe in flour. They didn’t have any aprons in Uganda, so their white shirts were not in a good state.

After the cake was out of the oven, they sat down to decorate it. Connor spread the white icing over the cake with a knife with seemingly great precision. “I just love baking, don’t you?” He idly asked Kevin.

Kevin was twiddling his thumbs. He hadn’t gotten to do much baking since Connor was apparently a cake hog. “I like watching _you_ bake.” Kevin said teasingly.

“You can help decorate, just let me get the base on.” Connor retorted. After a few moments, Connor handed him the decorating icing tubes. “Wanna do the honors of writing the words?”

“Yay, I get to do something.” Kevin teased and began writing “Happy”, but the Y got messed up from too much icing coming out at the end. Kevin’s face contorted and he looked up sheepishly at Connor. “Oops.”

Connor giggled. “It’s okay. Just take the extra icing off with your finger.”

Kevin picked up the stray blob of icing with his finger and placed it in front of Connor’s mouth with a hopeful look on his face.

“You are bad.” Connor giggled shyly before slowly taking Kevin’s icing-laden finger into his mouth, self-consciously licking the icing off. Connor blushed. “You are so bad!”

Kevin grinned and squirted more icing out of the tube onto his own finger and ate it. “Icing kiss?” He asked innocently and leaned in to place a very sweet-tasting kiss onto Connor’s mouth. As they were kissing, the icing created a pleasant sweetness and aroma which only added to the sensation. When Connor pulled back, he saw a splotch of icing plastered to the top of Kevin’s lips which made him chuckle.

“Whoops. You have some right…here.” Connor said and scooped up the stray icing off Kevin’s lips with his finger. Kevin reached up and brought Connor’s icing-covered finger into his mouth, licking the icing off. This action resulted in Connor suddenly looked slightly dazed, as though he was in deep thought about something.

“I love you.” Connor involuntarily blurted out, his finger still in Kevin’s mouth.

Kevin and Connor both froze. Neither of them had said those words yet and Kevin was shocked that Connor was the one to say them first, considering how slow he wanted to move.

Connor roughly yanked his finger out of Kevin’s mouth and stood up, ashamed of himself. “I didn’t mean—oh, gosh, I’m sorry. It’s too soon, isn’t it? I don’t know why I said that.” He stammered, slamming his eyes shut. _Idiot,_ Connor thought to himself. _Idiot, idiot, idiot._

Kevin stood up and leaned into Connor, wrapping his arms around him and placing a soft kiss on his forehead. “Don’t be sorry.” He swallowed hard and tried to say the next few words in the most serious, meaningful way possible. “I love you too.” He whispered.

Tears fell out of both their eyes as they held onto the sweet embrace as though it was the most important thing in the universe, Kevin not even trying to take it any further for once.

When Kevin pulled back, he looked longingly into Connor’s eyes and said, half-jokingly with his big brown eyes gleaming, “So is it time now?”

Connor cracked up into a fit of laughter and smiled sweetly at Kevin. “Almost. But not yet.”

“Okay.” Kevin said sweetly and wrapped his arms back around Connor. “I just thought I’d ask.”

 

* * *

 

The next night, on Saturday, it was the big night of the party and everyone was ecstatic to show Nabulungi a good time for her birthday. The Elders were all pretty nervous and excited about it being their first time drinking alcohol too, albeit a bit wary of it.

Throughout the entire day before the party, Connor was seriously considering the possibility that he and Kevin may end up having sex for the first time that night since they would be _drinking_ and he knew that drinking reduced one’s control. He knew Kevin would probably try, at least, and with their inhibitions lowered, it was an increasingly real possibility. The entire day before the party, Connor couldn’t stop obsessing about it and it was making him more and more anxious the closer the time got to the party.

By the time nine o’ clock rolled around, the party had been well under way for a few hours. Everyone was happy, music was playing all over the property and all of Nabulungi’s friends and family had arrived. The house was too small to properly host a party inside, so they also set up some outdoor furniture and a table full of food and drinks outside so the guests wouldn’t be stuck inside the house all night. They even set up a makeshift dance floor in the yard. Connor and Kevin watched on with grins as Arnold put on a slow tune and asked Nabulungi to dance with him on the “dance floor”.

Kevin playfully nudged Connor. “You know, if you weren’t so uptight about people knowing about us, we could be out there dancing too.” He paused and whispered. “I would love to dance with you like that. I’m proud that we’re together, I want to show you off to all our friends like Arnold and Nabulungi do.”

“You just love showing off.” Connor teased, but then nodded seriously and spoke in a near whisper. “I guess you’re right though. But I—I think maybe I’m being a little weird about it because—well, when you have to spend your entire life hiding something, it turns out it’s not so easy to let it out again. You know?”

Kevin nodded and cautiously placed a hand on his partner’s shoulder. “Yeah, I know.” He gave Connor’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “What do you say we go try some drinks, huh? We’ve stalled for like…” He glanced at his watch and looked expectantly at Connor. “Two hours now?”

Connor laughed. “Yeah, I think you’re right. I just wanted to make sure we got all of the hosting stuff out of the way first. Let’s go.”

They walked over to the drink table, giggling like small children over having their first drink together. Connor poured himself and Kevin two glasses of red wine.

Connor took in a deep breath. “Alright, here it goes. Cheers!” He cried out as they clinked their glasses together.

Kevin and Connor both took their first sips at the same time. Connor took a moment to consider the taste. “It’s not…it’s not that bad!” He said excitedly and took another large gulp. Kevin reached over and brought the glass away from Connor’s mouth.

“Hey, go easy. I heard that when you’ve never drank before, it affects you super-fast even from just a small amount. You have to build up a tolerance.” Kevin warned.

Connor was already feeling a little lightheaded. “Whoa.” He nodded in agreement. “I think you’re right.”

Kevin giggled and took another small sip from his own glass. He felt a warm sensation flood through his body. It felt kind of good, but different than anything he’d experienced before.

A few minutes later, Arnold came over to stand with the pair, looking only mildly drunk. “Hey guys, how you enjoying the party so far?”

Connor giggled. “We’re feeling pretty good.” He gestured to the wine.

The three talked a while longer until Nabulungi came over and asked them to help her bring all the presents inside. Arnold and Kevin went with her to get the gifts, but Connor asked to stay behind and secretly poured himself another glass of wine. He gulped this glass down a lot faster than the previous glass and promptly refilled it before wandering over to a group of villagers standing around in a circle, talking.

He hiccuped and joined their circle. “Cheers!” He greeted them happily as he clinked his glass to theirs. His speech was slightly slurred now and he was walking with a bit of a hobble.

One of the villagers laughed at him teasingly. “How much have you had to drink, white boy?”

Connor scrunched up his face and held up three fingers. “Only this much.”

The group of villagers laughed and shook their heads. Connor hiccuped again and noticed his vision was beginning to get a bit blurry. “I think I might be having sex for the first time tonight and I’m really nervous about it.” He blurted out. “Do you think this will help?” He asked, his speech slurred as he gestured to the drink.

One woman laughed and put her arm around him. “Oh yeah, it’ll help.”

About ten minutes later, Connor saw Kevin return from helping Nabulungi and watched as he went over to the drink table and poured himself another glass of wine. Connor left the circle of villagers and ran over to him, crashing into him slightly and placing a very public peck on Kevin’s cheek.

Kevin was taken aback by Connor’s kiss and looked shocked, but was mostly concentrating on trying to only see one of Connor. “There’s people like…all over here, Connor.” His voice sounded a little off, too. “I think I might be getting a little tipsy.” Kevin said shyly. “How about you?”

Connor giggled like a schoolgirl and leaned into him again and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. “Me too.”

Kevin’s face lit up into a grin. Connor was showing him affection in front of everyone and he didn’t know why, but he liked it. “You’re kissing me in front of _people_. Does this mean I get to…dance with you now?” He asked tipsily with a shy smile dancing across his face.

Connor nodded his head and took his boyfriend’s hand into his, but instead of leading him toward the dance floor he started to lead him toward the house.

“Wait, the dance floor’s…that way.” Kevin looked behind him, stumbling awkwardly after Connor as the boy hurriedly brought him inside. Connor led Kevin into the bedroom Connor occupied that was reserved for just the District Leader. Kevin had only been in there a couple of times before, once the previous week when there was simply nowhere else to go to be alone. Connor thought that being in his bedroom would be too much temptation for them so they typically tried to stay out.

“I need to be alone with you.” Connor murmured softly as he pulled Kevin into a passionate kiss. He led Kevin over to the bed and the two sat next to one another, arms wrapped around each other and lips pressed together. Kevin felt the magical feeling of Connor’s tongue start to slide in and out of his mouth.Connor didn’t always French kiss him, in fact he most often did not, because he knew it tipped Kevin over the edge.

Connor ran all ten fingers through Kevin’s soft locks of hair as he continued to slide his tongue in and out, slowly and teasingly. Kevin groaned through their mouths at the sensation. Every nerve ending in his body was ignited, on fire. He wanted Connor so badly, it ached. It physically and emotionally ached. But, something just didn’t feel quite…right.

Kevin pulled back for a moment and saw the desire in Connor’s eyes. The boy’s fiery red hair was messy from their passion and his tie was undone. Kevin reached up and ran the back of his hand over Connor’s cheek. “You know I love you, right?”

Connor smiled dopily through the haze of alcohol. “Of course. I love you too.” He reached over and roughly pulled Kevin close. Kevin’s hands moved slowly down Connor’s body and stopped when he got to Connor’s pants. He shakily moved a hand so it grazed Connor’s hardness.

Connor let out of soft moan at the pleasure of Kevin’s hand running across his erection. “Oh God, I want you, Kevin. I need you.” He exclaimed. “I think…I think it’s time.”

Kevin froze and looked down as his perfect, albeit fairly drunken boyfriend. “You’re pretty drunk right now and I feel really tipsy too.” Kevin stated quietly. “Are you sure this is the right time?”, he asked in a skeptical tone as he moved off of Connor’s body and laid next to him.   


“Yes, yes! I need you. What’s with all the questions?” Connor complained in a slightly slurred voice, moaning for Kevin’s touch. “Just take my pants off, please. Now. Do it now. I need to feel you inside me. Just come here…please…” Connor reached up to pull Kevin down on top of him, but his partner resisted.

Kevin’s heart stopped. He’d been waiting to hear those words escape Connor’s lips for weeks, but not quite like this. Not like this. He knew Connor was just being affected by the alcohol and though it was impossibly hard to resist the unrelenting urges that wouldn’t stop swimming through his veins, he knew he had to, for Connor’s sake.

Kevin reached down and placed a gentle hand on the other man’s cheek. He bit down hard on his lip and spoke gently. “Connor, sweetheart. I love you, I love you so much, but I—I actually _really_ don’t think this is the right time.”

Connor’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped open as he struggled to sit up. He was pretty sure he saw three Kevins in front of him as he sat up, dizziness clouding his vision.

“Are you _kidding_ me?” Connor snapped at him in a slurred voice. “What? What the heck? Are you joking? I’m telling you I want you _inside_ of me, Kevin, _now_. I can’t wait any longer…” He leaned in and placed a fierce kiss on Kevin’s lips, which Kevin readily accepted, Connor pulling Kevin on top of him. “I need you, Kevin.”

After a few moments of heated kissing, Kevin pulled back again and shook his head, speaking in a sincere, apologetic tone. “No, I’m not. I’m not…I’m really not kidding. I mean it. I don’t think this is right. You’re a little too drunk and I love you…and I don’t want our first time together to be like this. Our first time shouldn’t be like this.” He swallowed hard and spoke with a choke in his voice. “I would feel like I’m taking advantage of you or something and I don’t want that to be how you remember your first time.”

Connor stopped pleading for a moment and looked up into Kevin’s eyes fearfully. All of a sudden, he started crying uncontrollably. Kevin didn’t even understand what was happening, but his instinct kicked in and he pulled Connor into an embrace. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh god, you don’t…you don’t want me anymore. I made—I made you wait too long. You—you don’t…you don’t want to be with me like that anymore.” Connor let out a muffled sob into Kevin’s shirt, leaving behind a wet spot. “You don’t want me anymore.”

Kevin’s heart felt as though it had cracked in half at Connor’s words. Kevin shook his head fiercely, a stray tear rolling down his face. “Look at me.” He spoke in a soothing tone as he lifted himself from the embrace. “Connor, look at me.”

Connor looked up at him and Kevin gazed down at his boyfriend with a sad look in his eyes. Beautiful, perfect Connor. _His_ perfect Connor. How could he honestly think he didn’t want to be with him that way? It was all he ever thought about. Second to making sure he was happy.

“You have no idea. I think about being with you, _making love_ to you, every moment of every day. You have no idea how much it pains me to have to tell you no. It’s _killing_ me.” Kevin sniffled and snuggled closer to his partner. “There’s nothing wrong with you. I love you so much and I just want our first time to be special like you always talk about it being and I just don’t think sober Connor would want drunk Connor to do this tonight. It’s affecting you…you wouldn’t be saying any of this if you weren’t drunk. Do you understand?”

Connor nodded glumly, the stiff erection that had been pushing itself against his pants gradually fading from feeling rejected and humiliated.

An awkward silence hung in the room for quite a while, Connor occasionally letting out a sniffle. Kevin got up after a while and brought Connor back a glass of water to try and mitigate his hangover the next day. A while later, Connor finally wiped his eyes and snuggled closer to Kevin, silently showing his forgiveness.

“Can you still stay here with me tonight?” Connor asked quietly. “Even if we don’t…do anything?”

A warm familiar feeling flooded through Kevin’s body and he gave Connor a reassuring squeeze. “I wasn’t planning on leaving.”

 

* * *

 

Several hours later, at about three o’clock in the morning, Connor was nestled in the crook between Kevin’s arm and chest when he awoke with pain shooting through his head and a nagging feeling of nausea in his tummy. He tried to let it pass by just laying down and trying not to think about it, but eventually it was too much so he gently nudged Kevin awake. Kevin sleepily opened his eyes and immediately wrapped an arm around his boyfriend.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Kevin asked sleepily, giving Connor a gentle squeeze. “You okay?”

“I don’t feel so good.” Connor moaned as he clutched his stomach. “I think I might have to throw up.” He then dry heaved a couple of times and sat up so his legs dangled over the bed, the room spinning as he did so. “Uhhh…” He groaned. Moving was ridiculously hard. “Oh, gosh…”

Connor held onto his stomach as he leaned over the side of the bed, Kevin now beside him with one arm wrapped around his shoulders. "Oh no…I'm definitely going to puke..." He complained sadly in a small voice.

Kevin helped Connor stand up and brought him over to the bathroom. Before they reached the toilet, however, Connor wretched violently and his stomach contents spilled out everywhere.

"Noooo…oh, no.” Connor lamented, ashamed of what had just transpired. "Oh gosh, no.” He mumbled. “I don’t want you to see me like this. I'm so sorry Kevin." His face was pale and his eyes tired and worn. "I’ll clean it up, just go back to bed.”

Kevin shook his head and gently rubbed Connor's back. "Shhhh. It’s alright." He assured, pulling Connor into a tender embrace.

"I'll clean it up, it's okay." Kevin promised as he pulled away and gave Connor a smirk. "Feel better at least?"

Connor blushed and leaned into Kevin's warmth for comfort. "Yeah, a little. I’m sorry. That was disgusting."

“It’s okay.” Kevin said sweetly with a tired smile on his face.

Connor brushed his teeth quickly to get the taste of sick out of his mouth before Kevin brought him back over to the bed and laid him down.

"Just rest, okay?" Kevin leaned over Connor and planted a series of small kisses on the boy's forehead before heading back to the bathroom.

No one liked cleaning up puke, but there wasn’t too much of it at least. Kevin loved Connor and could tell his boyfriend was feeling just awful. Holding his nose and squinting his eyes a bit, he cleaned it all up with a damp towel. After it was all clean, he crawled back into bed, snuggling up beside Connor.

Connor rolled over so he was facing his partner and Kevin could see he had tears in his eyes. Kevin’s brow furrowed as he reached up and wiped the tears out of his boyfriend’s eyes. “Hey, what’s the matter?” He whispered.

Connor sniffled and leaned into Kevin’s warmth. “Thank you for not…not doing it with me last night. I was so drunk; I don’t know what happened. I’m so sorry.”

Kevin smiled and wrapped his arms around Connor, pulling him close. “You don’t have to thank me and you don’t need to be sorry. Everything’s okay.” He ran his fingers gently through Connor’s hair, caressing his scalp. “Everything’s alright.” He leaned in and kissed his forehead. “I love you.”

Connor sniffled and closed his eyes. “I love you, too.”

 

* * *

 

By eleven o’clock in the morning, Connor was feeling a little bit better and he and Kevin woke up and walked out to see if the other Elders were awake.

The sight before them was less than attractive. Everyone was still in bed except for Elder Thomas and Elder Church, who looked miserably hungover and were laying on the couch and floor, respectively, in their pajamas. Most of the other Elders were clearly still asleep in their rooms since they weren't out in the living room. Kevin smirked and glanced at Connor. "Am I the only one who didn't abuse the alcohol last night?"

Arnold suddenly stepped out of the kitchen, looking remarkably chipper, where he was making breakfast and grinned at Connor and Kevin.

"Hiiiiiii guys!" He said melodically in a knowing voice. "How are you two doing this fine morning?"

Kevin instantly realized why Arnold was giving them a strange look. _I never came back to our room last night,_ Kevin realized. He then recalled Connor kissing him in front of everyone after they had several drinks. _Oh god_ , Kevin thought, _Connor's going to be so upset. Everyone probably knows now._

Kevin opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He tried again.

"Um, let's go talk in the kitchen, huh?" Kevin insisted, pulling Connor and Arnold into the kitchen. The two Elders in the living room were passed out, so no one paid them any mind.

Connor was beet red in the face by this point and couldn't bear to meet Arnold's eyes.

"You know, don't you?" Connor asked in a small voice toward Arnold, who could not stop grinning. “About us?”

"Mmmm hmmm", Arnold said in a happy lilt, smiling as bright as the sun. "Connor and Kevin sitting in a tree—"

"Okay, just stop." Kevin said roughly to Arnold. "Look, Connor doesn't want anyone else to find out about this, okay? I don’t know who knows yet, but let's try to just keep this between us."

Arnold shook his head. "Too late. Everyone knows already." 

"You didn’t…I mean, you wouldn’t…“, Kevin started, but Arnold put his hand up to stop him.

"Don’t be silly, of course I didn't tell. Who do you think I am, dude?" Arnold shook his head. "You guys had an impromptu kissy kiss last night by the dance floor in front of like…everybody.” Arnold smirked. "For two people who didn't want anyone to find out, you sure didn't act like it last night.”

Connor's face was an even deeper shade of red now, if that was even possible. He looked sick, sad, and ashamed. "Oh…I really messed up didn't I?” Connor chastised himself. “I got drunk and kissed Kevin in front of everyone, then I…I made a goddamn _fool_ out of myself." Connor started, referring to his failed attempt at seducing Kevin.

Kevin shook his head and put an arm around Connor, pulling him in close. "Look, let's all just calm down, alright? I really don't see the problem here. So, Connor and I are together. So what? We've been together for over a month and it's been the happiest month of my entire life.”

Connor looked up at Kevin and his jaw dropped slightly at his boyfriend’s sweet words.

Kevin continued. “So we got a little drunk last night. Who cares? Most of the world gets drunk once in a while. Can’t we just eat bad food and watch movies all day like normal people do when they’re hungover?" Kevin was clearly frustrated and didn’t want to discuss it anymore.

Connor nodded and shakily took Kevin's hand. "I want you to know that…that this has been the happiest month of my life too, Kevin." He squeezed his hand and gave him a tired smile. "My weirdness about people knowing has nothing to do with you. I promise."

Arnold beamed at the exchange between the two. "Dude, Kev, I couldn't be happier for you guys. Honestly, I am beyond thrilled for you. I kinda thought something was going on weeks ago, but I just didn't say anything because I figured you’d tell me when you were ready. I'm really happy for you guys. So is everyone else. So let's just chill out and eat some hangover food."

Kevin grinned at Arnold and patted him on the shoulder. "Thanks, pal. Did you really think that we—?" He gestured to himself and Connor.

"Of course I did." Arnold smirked. "I'm your best friend, _remember_?"

Kevin brought Arnold into a friendly hug and patted him on the back. After Kevin untangled himself from Arnold, he leaned in and gave Connor a squeeze and a kiss on his head. Connor visibly relaxed at the touch. 

 "Everything is going to work out, you'll see." Kevin whispered softly to Connor.

Connor nodded. "I know, thanks guys. I think I’m gonna go take a shower. I feel really icky."

Kevin nodded and gave Connor another quick kiss on the cheek. "We'll make breakfast, okay? Just rest and shower and we’ll bring it out."

Connor grinned and nodded. "Thanks, guys. See you in a bit."

Connor left the kitchen feeling much better than when he woke up. Everything was out in the open now and it didn't even feel so bad. Connor loved Kevin and to heck with anyone else's opinion. He wasn't Mormon anymore and could be as gay and happy as he wanted to be.

After Connor left, Kevin and Arnold went to work preparing the breakfast of pancakes, omelets, and home fries. 

They were chopping vegetables for the omelets in relative silence, until Kevin spoke in a quiet, unsure voice. "Hey, um, Arnold?"

Arnold was busy chopping an onion, tears starting to form in his eyes from the smell. "Yeah buddy?"

"Do you, uh, do you remember a couple months ago when you, um...when you tried to tell me about...well, about the first time you and Nabulungi....you know…" Kevin trailed off uncomfortably. “Did it for the first time?” He managed to choke out.

Arnold laughed, remembering the day. "Yeah and if I recall correctly, you said, 'Ew, gross, Arnold, that's the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard, stop talking.'" He turned and looked knowingly at Kevin, causing him to blush slightly.

Kevin looked down at his pepper, embarrassed. "Yeah, well, I didn’t have all the facts then, okay?"

Arnold shook his head, grinning. There was a brief moment of contemplative silence. "So have you and Connor...you know…done it?"

Kevin froze before slowly shaking his head. He couldn't believe he was actually having this conversation. "No, that's um…that’s what I wanted to ask you about."

Kevin’s face flushed pink with embarrassment at even _thinking_ of asking Arnold about sex. "How, um...how did you know it was the right time to...do that with Nabulungi? Did you like, plan it?"

Arnold shook his head. "Nah, one night we were watching a movie and before I knew it I was on top of her. Ever since we started going out, I've been keeping supplies on my person...you know, just in case the moment arose." He winked and smiled gingerly over at Kevin, who was looking increasingly uncomfortable with the conversation.

A confused look washed over Kevin's face. "Supplies? What do you mean?"

Arnold rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Kevin, for such a smart person you're really dumb sometimes about these things."

Kevin's face burned hot with embarrassment. "Well, how am I supposed to know? I never did this before!"

Arnold laughed. "Dude, didn't you take Sex Ed in high school?"

Kevin shook his head. "No, my mom wouldn't let me take it." He was shamefully staring down at his pepper, mutilating it angrily with his knife at this point. "It's not my fault I don't know these things."

Arnold whistled and shook his head. "Ever hear of this thing called the world wide web, Kevin?"

Kevin slammed his knife down. "Come on, stop it!"

Kevin actually looked genuinely hurt, so Arnold put up his hands in surrender. "Jeez, okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'm just teasing you because it's so easy."

Kevin gave him a cold glare and resumed his chopping. 

Arnold cocked his head to the side and turned toward Kevin. "Honestly, I barely knew any of this either until I realized how much I liked Nabulungi…and that doing it was becoming an increasingly real possibility. So I used the internet to do some...research." He blushed slightly and returned to his onion. 

Kevin’s jaw dropped a bit. "We're only supposed to use the internet to contact our parents!"

"Not anymore, dude." Arnold reminded him.

Kevin nodded in agreement. "True."

Arnold's curiosity got the better of him as he considered the fact that Connor and Kevin were both guys. "Um, so like, I don’t have any experience with doing it with dudes, so you should probably Google that. I mean, like, which one of you does what?"

Kevin's face burned hot at this point and he stopped chopping. "I don’t know! I don't have that level of detail yet. But, um, well…actually, I might have an idea maybe.” Kevin silently recalled Connor’s words the night before while he drunkenly tried to have sex with him… _I need you inside of me, Kevin_. It sent tingles up his spine just thinking about it.

"How did you know when it was the right time to do it?" Kevin asked, cracking eggs into a bowl.

Arnold shrugged. "I don't know. We just knew."

Kevin nodded. "That's what Connor keeps saying."

“I’m so surprised you didn't do it last night while you were drunk. When I saw you guys leave together and then you didn’t come back to our room, I just assumed you did." Arnold replied.

Kevin shook his head. "I just…didn't want to do it for the first time while we were drunk, that’s all. Connor always says that it needs to be really special and has to be at the right time. He has all of these ideas about how it should be. I just…didn't want to take that away from him just because he had too much to drink, you know?"

Arnold's face softened as he looked over at Kevin. "That's so sweet, Kev. I'm sure you'll figure it out. Everyone does."

Kevin nodded. "Yeah, I suppose so."

They were quiet for a few minutes. "Um, Arnold?"

"More sex questions?"

Kevin turned red at the comment. "Come on, dude, help me out here."

Arnold snickered. "You really can't take a joke, can you, bud?"

Kevin shook his head. "I can, just…not about this." He bit his lip and stepped closer to Arnold so he could speak in a whisper. "Did it... _hurt_? The first time?'"

Arnold's eyes widened in shock. "No way! It felt like the most amazing thing I've ever felt in my whole life. Why would it hurt?"

Kevin sighed and shook his head. "You dope. I meant for Nabulungi." He playfully slapped him in the arm.

Arnold's look turned serious. "Oh, well, yeah, a little. But after the first time she was fine."

Kevin nodded, biting his lip. "I really don't...I don't want either of us to be in any pain. Especially not Connor." Kevin shook his head sadly. “I really don’t want to hurt him.”

"Well, then go buy those _supplies_ I was talking about." Arnold encouraged him.

Kevin looked so confused. "I still don't understand what supplies you mean."

"Interwebs!" Arnold cried out, Kevin shaking his head. 

"Can't you just tell me?" Kevin sighed and glared at his friend. "Come on, we don’t have any secrets anymore." Kevin pointed out.

Arnold nodded. "Well, in order for it not to hurt the other person…you need to use...lubricant."

Kevin just stared at him dumbly. “How do you…use it?”

Arnold rolled his eyes. “Seriously?”

Kevin sent him a death glare and Arnold continued. “You put it on your…thing…and on the person you’re doing it with…you put some inside their thing and it makes it so there’s like… less friction and stuff… so it just glides in better. You understand?”

Kevin's stomach felt funny all of a sudden. This was all becoming way more complicated than he anticipated. "Oh." Was all he said in a small voice. “Okay, I can do that.”

Arnold shrugged. "Probably condoms too but since you and Connor can't get pregnant and you’re both virgins, I don’t think that matters too much."

Kevin nodded slowly. "Okay. Anything else I should know?"

Arnold shrugged. "Kev, I love you, but you are both _dudes_ so I honestly have no clue what that entails. Use the web, bro."

Kevin nodded. Maybe Arnold was right. "Okay. Thanks, pal. This really helped me out."

Arnold waved Kevin off. "Don't worry about it. And I really meant it when I said I'm happy for you two."

Kevin grinned and leaned in and gave Arnold a hug. "Thanks, that means a lot to me. I sorta thought people might be turned off by it."

“Like it says in the _Book of Arnold_ , love is love.” Arnold replied, grinning.

Kevin’s face lit up. "Thanks, I feel a lot better about this whole thing now."

"What are prophets for?"

 

* * *

 

Two weeks had gone by since Nabulungi’s party and Kevin had just come home from a shopping trip out of town. He had finally taken Arnold’s advice and bought some supplies for sex just in case Connor was ready to try again. Kevin didn’t want to pressure him or anything, but he wanted to have them on hand just in case his partner was ready. He wasn’t exactly sure where to store them, but he knew they sure as heck wouldn’t be doing it for the first time in his and Arnold’s room. He looked around to see if anyone was watching and snuck into Connor’s room. He buried the items away in the back of his underwear drawer. He hoped Connor wouldn’t find them before they were ready to use them though. Well, even if he did, Kevin could explain. He didn’t want to make it seem as though he was pressuring him though so he tried to hide them as best he could.

That Friday night, the Elders were busy getting ready for movie night that evening, setting up their sleeping bags and making popcorn. The theme this Friday was Disney movies, much to Kevin’s delight. They were watching all of his favorites—The Lion King, Aladdin, and the Little Mermaid.

“Can we watch the Little Mermaid first?” Kevin asked Connor hopefully. “It’s my favorite.”

Connor grinned as he walked over and popped the movie into their old DVD player. “Don’t worry, I’m two steps ahead of you.”

Kevin beamed and settled into the couch. Connor followed him, snuggling into his side. Once Connor was comfy, Kevin planted a kiss on his head and wrapped an arm securely around him.

“I love you.” Kevin leaned in and whispered softly into Connor’s ear, causing the boy to blush as he pulled the blanket up around them. Their relationship was finally out in the open with all of their friends and fellow Elders, who turned out to be very supportive, but he was still getting used to Kevin’s affinity for public displays of affection.

“Kevin…” Connor whined with a knowing look on his face. “Shhhh!”

Kevin smirked at Connor’s flushed cheeks. “I love you, I love you, I love you!” He exclaimed, causing several of the other Elders to look up at them and giggle.

Connor blushed bright red and playfully smacked him in the arm. “Come on, stop it!”

Secretly, though, even if it did make him blush, Connor absolutely loved that he finally had someone openly displaying their feelings for him. It felt nice to be wanted and every time Kevin did it, he felt all warm and cozy inside as though he were _home_ despite being in the middle of a foreign country.

Connor could smell Kevin’s unique scent as he leaned into his side to get into a comfy snuggle position. It wasn’t a bad or good smell per se, but it just smelled like _Kevin_ , like what home would smell like if it had a smell. A little musty and familiar, but very sweet. He breathed in deeply, taking in the familiar smell, and snuggled deeper into the nook between Kevin’s arm and chest.

Around midnight, after the Little Mermaid and Lion King concluded, most of the other Elders had passed out asleep. Kevin and Connor, long abandoning the last movie, were quietly kissing on the couch. Their kissing this time was soft and delicate. Kevin ran a slow hand along Connor’s back and up into his soft, red hair, pulling his locks of hair through his fingers. He slowly released his lips from Connor’s and moved over to his cheeks, nuzzling his skin with his nose, placing lazy kisses onto his face every so often.

Kevin pulled back a bit and leaned in to give Connor a gentle nibble on his ear. He’d be too ashamed to admit it to Connor, but he’d read on the internet that ear nibbling turned a lot of people on and that it actually felt really good. After Arnold’s insistence that he make good use of the internet for this particular topic, Kevin found himself looking up everything and anything related to how to be a good lover. In particular, a good lover for someone like Connor who needed a lot of affection and tenderness in order to feel turned on.

As he brought Connor’s earlobe between his teeth and bit down ever so gently, he heard Connor let out a small gasp, followed by a quiet moan. Kevin expected that at any moment, Connor would ask him to stop and say whatever Kevin was doing was turning him on too much or that he was taking it too far. To his surprise, however, Connor didn’t push his partner away this time. Kevin took this as an okay to keep going and rolled Connor’s earlobe around in his mouth, flicking it lightly with his tongue. He could hear his partner’s breathing increase a bit and took that as a cue that he was enjoying it. Letting go of Connor’s ear and moving downward, he scattered an array of light kisses down his neck, intentionally not pressing hard but just gently teasing the skin. Occasionally, he slid his tongue out, softly licking his skin.

Connor’s eyes were closed now, his body leaning back against the arm of the couch. He was quietly panting and visibly trembling at Kevin’s touch. Kevin was on top of him, leaning into Connor’s neck.

“Oh…” A soft, barely audible moan, escaped Connor’s lips, sending a heated pulse through Kevin’s body at the mere sound. Connor’s arms were wrapped tightly around Kevin’s back, pulling him in closer and giving him gentle back rubs, almost as if giving him an affirmation that he should continue. “That feels so good…Kevin.” He murmured almost inaudibly, conscious of the sleeping Elders surrounding them. “Oh gosh…”

The slow, tantalizing movement of Kevin’s mouth grazing his neck was driving Connor mad and he could feel the nagging sensation of a growing pressure in his pajama bottoms. Kevin smiled to himself and turned Connor’s head to the side so he could repeat his actions on the other side of Connor’s face and neck. His only goal was to make Connor squeal in delight.

After a few moments, Connor finally let out a loud gasp and tapped Kevin’s back. “Kevin, Kevin, you have to stop.” Kevin’s gentle, almost teasing, touches were making any semblance of self-control very difficult. He knew they had to calm down or else they would wake everyone up.

Kevin wanted to do anything but stop, but of course he did anyway. As he sat up, he looked around and realized they were still in the company of the sleeping Elders. He had nearly forgotten where they were. Connor was right, they had to stop before this went too far.

Kevin lifted himself up off of Connor’s warm body and smiled slyly. “Sorry, I guess I got a little carried away.”

As Connor sat up too, Kevin could see beads of sweat had formed on his forehead and his breathing seemed very erratic. He almost looked as though he was glowing, Kevin thought.

“It’s okay.” Connor whispered softly, his hands trembling slightly. He gave Kevin a shy smile. “We can’t stay out here though. Do you—um, do you want to maybe go in the bedroom?”

Kevin was certain his heart had stopped, a surprised expression taking over his face. Was Connor asking him to…no, he couldn’t be. Was it—was it finally _time_? He didn’t know if Connor’s words were implying that or not. His mind suddenly raced with a million questions all at once, but he refrained from asking any of them out loud. All he could manage to do was nod nervously and help Connor up off the couch.

When they got to the bedroom door, Connor turned around and said in an unsure voice, “Can you, um, wait out here for like five minutes?”

A befuddled look came over Kevin’s face. “Um, yeah, I guess. You okay?”

Connor nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, yes, I’m fine. Just…five minutes, alright?”

Kevin nodded and Connor promptly closed the door behind him, leaving the other boy waiting outside with a confused look on his face.

After about ten minutes, Kevin knocked lightly on the door. “Connor? Connor, are you alright?”

He heard some odd noises coming from inside the room so he knocked again. “Connor? You’re starting to scare me a little.”

Connor finally opened the door and peeked his head out. “Two minutes, I swear.” The door closed again behind him. Kevin didn’t know what was going on, but Connor didn’t look upset or anything so he just tried to patiently wait outside.

A few minutes later, Connor opened the door again and let Kevin in. As Kevin entered, he was greeted by a dim, dreamy glow throughout the room. He stared around the room in shock for a few moments. Connor must have lit at least twenty scented candles, big and small, throughout the room. The lights were off, but the room looked cozy and inviting from the soft, warm glow of candlelight and everything smelled like lavender and caramel. It was so beautiful and thoughtful; Kevin was at a loss for words.

Kevin looked around the room in awe, before finally landing his gaze back on Connor. “Oh wow…you—you did all of this for us?” Kevin whispered, letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. His eyes were filled with amazement and love and fear.

“Do you like it?” Connor asked in a small, unsure voice, as though he feared Kevin may not like it.

Kevin moved towards Connor and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Their lips crashing together was electric and Kevin’s body tingled in love and anticipation.

Kevin pulled back, gently caressing Connor’s cheek. “Does this mean…I mean, is it…time?”

Connor giggled and wrapped his arms around Kevin’s neck. “What do you think?”

Kevin’s eyes lit up, widening in shock. “But—I don’t understand. Why now? Why tonight?”

Connor thought about it for a moment and shrugged. “I don’t know. It just…feels right, that’s all.” He looked worried all of a sudden. “I mean, you _want_ to, right?”

Kevin nodded, tears forming in his eyes from the magnitude of the moment. “I always want to. I love you so much.”

He leaned in and grazed his lips against Connor’s before pressing into him for a deeper kiss.

After a moment, he pulled back slightly, stiffening. “Um, and I…” He stammered suddenly, a bright red blush overcoming his cheeks. “I, uh, bought some…stuff…for us…you know, to use.” Kevin looked down at the floor, embarrassed. “And, um, well, they’re in your underwear drawer.”

Connor’s eyes widened. “They’re in my _what_?”

Kevin bit his lip shyly and looked back up at Connor, who had a shocked expression on his face. “Um, I didn’t think we would need them in mine and Arnold’s room so I kinda put them…in your underwear drawer...”

Connor’s shocked face erupted into giggles. “Oh my gosh, Kevin. I can’t believe you did that.” He then turned slightly more serious as his laughter subsided. “Um, so what did you…buy?”

Kevin blushed. This was going to be super weird, he thought. “Uhhh…I can show you.”

He opened the drawer and shakily pulled out four bottles of flavored lubricant, mint, cherry, chocolate, and raspberry, a box of ribbed condoms, and a box of chocolates. His hands were trembling nervously as he handed Connor the items.

“Uh, the chocolate is more for…after…I guess.” Kevin said anxiously, smiling shyly with his boyish features in full form. “I’m sorry this is all so weird. Um, is it…okay? Did I do good?”

Connor’s face was beet red, but he found himself becoming more turned on, if that was even possible, by Kevin’s sweet nature and thoughtfulness. He placed the items down on the nightstand and looked back up at Kevin adoringly. “Of course you did good. I wasn’t really sure what we would need, to be honest.” He blushed. “I’m really glad you thought of everything.” After a moment of quiet, Connor leaned into embrace Kevin. “Is it alright that I’m…I’m a little scared?” He shyly admitted, squeezing Kevin’s back.

“Of course. I am too.” Kevin assured him softly, running a hand through Connor’s hair and giving him a kiss on the forehead. “I’m afraid I’ll accidentally hurt you or something. I want to make you feel good, not be in pain. I never want you to feel any kind of pain, but especially not because of… _me_.” He blushed.

Connor pulled back, his eyes slightly glassy. “I think it’s supposed to hurt a little the first time, but then it gets better.”

Kevin reached down and nervously lifted up one of the bottles of lube to show him. “This should make it hurt less, I think. I hope. I don’t want either of us to be in pain.”

Connor leaned in and placed a soft kiss onto Kevin’s lips. It quickly escalated into a flurry of passion, Kevin pulling Connor’s tucked in pajama shirt out of his pants so he could caress the skin of his back. As Kevin ran his hands tenderly up and down his back, Connor’s knees crumbled from his sensitivity to Kevin’s gentle touch and had to sit down on the bed for support. As Connor sat down and leaned back into the bed, Kevin leaned in as well, still cupping his partner’s waist and trailing his fingers along the small of his back.

Connor pulled back from their kiss with a gasp. “Can I…can I unbutton your shirt?”He mustered out, still catching his breath, reaching up to undo the first button on Kevin’s pajama top. Kevin nodded nervously, still running delicate caresses over the supple skin of Connor’s back.

“Yes, please.” Kevin encouraged, a boyish smile dancing on his face as he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss atop Connor’s head.

Connor nervously undid the first few buttons, his hands shaking slightly, and hesitated when he got to the buttons near the bottom. He slowly lifted the material out that was tucked into Kevin’s pajama bottoms so it hung loosely over his legs. Connor trembled in anticipation and slowly undid the remaining buttons of his shirt. Kevin’s hands fell out of Connor’s pajama top as the other boy stood up to completely remove Kevin’s shirt. He undraped it over Kevin’s broad, slightly tan shoulders and it fell to the floor unceremoniously.

Connor just stared at him. He was perfect. His ivory skin was supple and soft and just a little bit tan from working outside. He had clear, defined muscles, but they weren’t gigantic or bulky. He was just perfect.

Connor lifted his nervous hands and let his palms lazily caress Kevin’s shoulders. They felt smooth and heavenly to touch. He moved his hands slowly so they trailed across Kevin’s chest. He had little to no hair which was a bit remarkable. Connor could see light blonde hairs poking out, but everything was just so _smooth_. Finally, Connor’s hands found their way to Kevin’s waist and he trailed a lone finger over the boy’s belly button.

Kevin was lost in a daze, staring at his partner as he slowly ran a teasing hand over his exposed body. One part of his brain relished in the fact that Connor seemed mesmerized by what stood before him. It was innocent and beautiful. The other, more animalistic, part of his brain could not stop thinking about tearing Connor’s clothes off and devouring him on the bed.

Kevin reached up and tenderly ran his hand through Connor’s hair before leaning in for a slow kiss. This time, Kevin slid his tongue into Connor’s mouth teasingly, in and out, and flickering it every so often. Connor trembled and moaned from the unexpected kiss and sat back down on the bed, Kevin leaning over him, still standing.

Kevin pulled back and trailed a finger down Connor’s neck, before landing on his shirt button. “Can I?”

Connor nodded nervously. Kevin had seen him with his shirt off before while they worked outside mowing the lawn and putting up the fence, during any kind of outdoorsy activity in the heat. But never before had Kevin seen his exposed body in the context of romance and sex. Connor smiled shyly as Kevin undid the first button, blushing ever so slightly and feeling that familiar sensation of butterflies invading his tummy. Connor knew his own muscles and physique were not quite as defined and strong as Kevin’s, but he prayed that Kevin would find his body attractive anyway.

Kevin grinned as he undid the first button. “You know, you’re so cute when you blush like that.” He lifted up a hand and gently caressed Connor’s pink cheek.

Connor, realizing his emotions were openly exposed, blushed even more. He looked up into Kevin’s big brown eyes and gave him a small smile. “I’m just a little worried I won’t look good enough for you.”

Kevin shook his head and leaned down to place a sweet kiss on Connor’s lips. “Don’t you ever worry about that. You’re perfect and I love you.” He whispered.

Connor relaxed a little as Kevin continued to unbutton his shirt. Finally, the buttons were undone and Kevin slid the shirt off of him. Kevin immediately ran tender hands all over Connor’s soft, freckled skin for a few moments, relishing in the feeling of it all and gazing in awe, before leaning in and placing a series of teasing kisses on his neck and shoulder.

Connor gasped loudly and relaxed back more so his upper body was laying down on the bed. Kevin leaned into him further, still standing in between Connor’s legs. Kevin placed a trail of soft kisses along Connor’s chest next before taking one of his nipples into his mouth and pressing down ever so slightly with his teeth, careful not to bite down too hard, causing Connor to let out a loud moan. “Ohh…”

“Shhhh.” Kevin cooed, lifting his head off of his chest, but Connor was lost in another world. Kevin could see the beads of sweat that had started to form on his partner’s forehead, rolling haphazardly down his face, which was flushed pink with arousal. Kevin loved seeing him like this. It meant that Connor _wanted_ him, that he loved him and wanted this just as much as Kevin did. Kevin never thought it would be possible to adore watching someone writhe and tremble as much as he loved watching Connor as he failed to control his moans and gasps, trying so hard to contain his desire, but failing to do so. It was the most beautiful and magical thing Kevin had ever seen. Kevin moved down and placed a gentle kiss on Connor’s bellybutton, twirling his tongue inside the tiny opening. Connor groaned and reached up to run his fingers through Kevin’s hair, as if telling him not to stop. Kevin loved it when Connor didn’t tell him to stop.

Kevin swallowed hard and ran a shaky, nervous hand over the bulge in Connor’s pajama bottoms. He could feel the boy wasn’t wearing any underwear beneath them, sending an electric tingle through his veins. As he teasingly ran a slow hand over the other boy, he could feel how hard he was for him.

Connor suddenly writhed his head back as Kevin ran his hand along his most private of places, letting out a load, pleading moan. “Kevin…please.” He panted. “Please.”

Kevin reached up and untied the little knot that was keeping Connor’s pajama bottoms up before lacing his fingers around his waistband. “Are you sure it’s okay?” Kevin asked softly, rubbing a gentle hand over the boy’s arm for reassurance. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Connor moaned softly and looked knowingly at Kevin. “Yes…please…I want to.”

Kevin grinned as Connor lifted his bottom up a little so Kevin could easily pull his pants down. Kevin’s heart felt like it was going to explode all over the place. He was actually going to make love to Connor. He couldn’t believe it. He knew it was happening, but he still couldn’t believe it. As the material of his pajama bottoms moved up and slowly over his erection, Connor squirmed and moaned at the rubbing sensation it produced. “Oh, god…”

The material popped off over Connor’s erection and Kevin could finally see Connor’s full naked body in front of him for the first time. He gazed down upon his partner, laying on the bed looking so open and vulnerable. Kevin thought his heart might beat right out of his chest. He couldn’t believe he was going to finally be able to pleasure Connor and that for once he wasn’t going to tell him to stop.

“You’re so beautiful.” Kevin said quietly, staring down in awe at his fully exposed boyfriend. Connor looked up at Kevin as if to thank him for the sweet compliment and saw a mixture of arousal, love, and fear in Kevin’s eyes. Kevin stepped in between Connor’s legs, still standing, and bent down to place a tender, meaningful kiss onto Connor’s lips. “Can I touch you?” He asked softly.

Connor moaned quietly and whispered. “You don’t need to ask permission anymore, silly.”

Kevin smiled shyly. “Why don’t you move up though so your head is on the pillows. You can’t be very comfortable like this.”

Connor moved up so he was now laying down, naked, with his head resting comfortably on the pillows. Kevin got into bed, crawling up so he was snuggled beside his partner. Kevin put one arm around him and used the other to touch him. Kevin placed a lone finger onto the head of Connor’s member and moved it around in tiny circles, causing Connor to squirm. Kevin moved his finger over the droplet of liquid that was sitting atop his hardness, using it as lubrication while stroking him.

Connor yelped loudly when Kevin slowly moved his hand up and down over his member for the first time. Suddenly, his mind no longer functioned properly and feeling and sensation was all that existed. After a few moments of Kevin’s gentle stroking of his hardness, Connor gasped loudly and reached down to lift Kevin’s hand off of him.

Kevin was taken aback. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

Connor exhaled loudly, out of breath and smiling. “Nothing’s wrong, but if you keep doing that then I’ll be finished too soon.” He blushed and sat up a little. “And I want this to last as long as possible.” He dove in and placed a passionate kiss on Kevin’s mouth, reversing their positions as he did so, laying Kevin down on his back beneath him, Connor straddling him. Slowly pulling back from Kevin’s lips, he spoke softly. “It’s your turn.”

Kevin’s eyes widened. He was so focused on making sure Connor was happy that he’d forgotten he’d have a turn. “Oh, wow, okay.”

Connor giggled and clasped his hands around Kevin’s pajama bottoms, slowly pulling them down. Finally, they were removed and Connor gazed down at Kevin for a wonderful, blissful moment. “You’re beautiful too, Kevin.” He said quietly, his eyes glassy.

Connor could see that Kevin was a bit bigger than he was down below and a little bit wider too. That only made sense though as Kevin was taller and broader in general. He smiled shyly and bit his lip. “You’re kind of…big.”

Kevin giggled a little and blushed. “I don’t think so, not really.”

Connor bit his lip harder, suppressing a smile, and carefully moved up to he was on top of Kevin with his legs spread over the boy’s hips, their mutual members slightly grazing one another as he did so, causing them both to gasp. He leaned in and kissed Kevin tenderly, running his hands up and down Kevin’s sides teasingly.

“Oh, I love you so much.” Kevin whispered as the touches Connor was giving him sent various hot pulses throughout his body.

Connor pulled back, moving his body down a bit and lowered his mouth so it grazed the tip of Kevin’s hardness. Connor licked him briefly before looking up, as though asking permission.

“Oh…” Kevin groaned before catching his breath. “You don’t—you don’t have to.” He managed to say through a series of hard exhales. “If you don’t want to.”

Connor smiled and slowly moved his tongue so it grazed the top of Kevin’s erect member. He flickered his tongue a few times before moving it around to lace the width of his tip.

Kevin moaned longingly and moved his hands to grab Connor’s hair, pulling on it slightly and running his fingers through it. “Oh, god…that feels amazing.”

Connor smiled again and moved lower, slowly engulfing Kevin’s fullness into his mouth.

Kevin’s mind stopped working entirely and he couldn’t even compute what was happening. All he knew was that he’d never felt anything in his entire life this wonderful. It felt so incredible and all-encompassing, he could barely stand it.

“I love you so much.” Kevin moaned as he trembled violently at every movement of Connor’s mouth. Connor reached up and gently stroked Kevin’s sides as he slowly moved his mouth up and down over Kevin, taking in his length fully each time. He gently dragged his tongue up and down and all around, sending Kevin into a fit of ecstasy. Kevin tugged harder on Connor’s hair, as though begging him to continue. After a couple of minutes, though, Kevin felt an unfamiliar feeling of being about to burst. He instantly removed Connor's mouth and gasped.

“I can’t…oh, god, I can’t. You—you have to stop now or I’ll come.” Kevin moaned. “And I still want to…be with you.”

Connor’s eyes suddenly filled with tears as he smiled down at Kevin. “I love you.” He whispered softly, moving up on top of Kevin as he leaned in and kissed him for few moments, soft lazy kisses as they were both exhausted from all of the activity. Kevin tasted the unfamiliar taste of himself on Connor’s lips. He hadn’t thought the sensation of tasting himself would be as erotic as it was, but it did nothing but make him more aroused.

Finally, Connor pulled back and spoke shyly. “Do you want to, um… try now?”

Kevin nodded, still panting. “If you want to. Um, but I don’t know…uh, I have no idea, like, which way did you want to… do it?”

Connor looked down, shyly, and shrugged. “Um, I mean, whatever you want. Either way will be good.”

Kevin reached up and brushed a stray piece of hair out of Connor’s eyes and tried to get him to look up and meet his eyes.He spoke softly. “The other night, when we were a little drunk, you said you wanted me to, um…you said you wanted me to be inside of you. Do you, um—do you still want that?”

Connor hesitated for a moment before nodding shyly and promptly burying his face into Kevin’s neck as though he didn’t want to look at him, embarrassed. “I do. But, we can try it the other way too, if you want.”

Kevin grinned. “We’ll have an endless amount of chances to try it both ways. But, right now, tonight, I want to do what will make you the happiest.”He said in a meaningful tone of voice. “If you’ll have me, I want to…I want to make love to you in that way.” He bit his lip, smiling. “If you’ll let me.”

Connor lifted his head out of Kevin’s neck and smiled, a tear rolling down his face. “I’d like that.”

Kevin reached over and pointed to the lube bottles on the nightstand. “Which one?”

Connor giggled and bit his lip shyly. “Uh, the raspberry one.”

Kevin smiled and picked up the condom and the bottle of raspberry lube and went to apply them to himself, but Connor stopped him.

“I can do it for you.” Connor whispered and shakily took the bottle and the condom from him. He unrolled the condom over Kevin’s hardness and squirted a hefty amount of raspberry lube into his hands and reached down to apply it. Kevin moaned softly as he felt Connor’s hands sliding up and down his shaft easily from the lubrication. Connor watched as Kevin’s breathing increased and his eyes closed. Finally, Kevin opened them and gasped. “Okay, that’s enough. I don’t want to finish yet. Your turn.”

Connor suddenly looked shy and turned away from Kevin. “Um, I can do me if you want.”

“Don’t be silly.” Kevin cooed and took Connor into his arms, laying him down gently onto his side so his bottom was exposed. “Lay like this and I’ll do it for you.”

Kevin knelt next to Connor and ran a nervous, shaking hand along the cheek of his buttox. He reached up and pried Connor’s cheeks open a little to see how wide his opening was. It looked awfully small. “Um, so, I read online that you need to fully relax in order for it not to hurt. Try and relax completely.” Kevin advised, caressing the boy’s cheeks tenderly. “Okay?”

Connor nodded, blushing. “Okay, I’ll try. I’m really nervous though.”

“I know. I love you, you don’t have to be nervous. Try to relax.” Kevin leaned down and placed a gentle kiss of one of his cheeks. He then squirted a large amount of lube onto his finger and gently ran the finger along Connor’s opening. As he did so, Connor let out a barely audible moan, so he knew he was doing something right so far. He cautiously and carefully inserted just the small tip of his finger into Connor’s opening. It went in easily since it was only the tip. He removed it and spread out Connor’s cheeks a bit more with one hand while squirting a hefty amount of lube into his opening. Kevin gently massaged the lube around Connor’s entrance before slowly, carefully, inserting half his pointer finger inside of him. He looked back up at Connor’s face to see if he was okay.

“Is that okay? Does it hurt?” Kevin asked cautiously.

Connor moaned. “No, it doesn’t hurt. It feels good.”

Kevin smiled and slowly pushed his finger a bit further into his partner. He slowly moved his finger back out, then in again. He curled his finger up and gently rubbed a rough patch of skin inside of his body, causing Connor to gasp loudly in pleasure. Kevin repeated his actions several times and heard Connor moaning for him to continue. He felt Connor’s entrance finally relax and open up a little for him after a few minutes of slowly moving his lubricated finger in and out. Kevin didn’t care how long it took for his partner’s body to be ready, he just didn’t want him to be in any pain. Kevin put more lube onto his finger and brought it back up to Connor’s opening. This time, he gently inserted two fingers inside and curled them upward once they were completely inside of him. Connor gasped and writhed a bit.

“Does it hurt? Are you alright?” Kevin asked worriedly, slowly removing his fingers.

Connor groaned and shook his head. “No, it feels so good. Please..keep going.” He pleaded with Kevin. “Please.”

Kevin reached down and carefully inserted two fingers inside of him again. After several minutes of gently pushing them in and pulling out, he felt Connor’s opening stretch a little bit more.

Connor moaned softly and rolled over onto his back after Kevin removed his fingers. Kevin smiled down at Connor and leaned over him, kissing him sweetly. Their members grazed one another for a moment, sending tingles down each of their bodies.

Kevin lifted himself off of Connor and spoke quietly. “We can do it like this if you want, you don’t need to be on your stomach. I want to be able to look at you while we do it…if that’s okay.”

Connor smiled warmly and nodded. “I want to look at you too.”

Kevin reached over and grabbed a pillow and they put it underneath Connor’s bottom so he was propped up a little. Kevin smiled shyly and applied more lubricant to his hardness and readied himself at Connor’s entrance, pulling Connor forward and up so that is bottom was exposed and Kevin could easily access his opening. Kevin lifted up his hardness and slowly, gently entered just a few centimeters into Connor. He could see Connor’s eyes widen at the sensation.

“Connor?” Kevin asked, out of breath. “Are you okay? Does it hurt?”

Connor shook his head and gave his partner a shy smile. “A little, but not too much. It just feels really…full.” He blushed. “You can keep going, it’s okay. Just...go slow?” Connor asked in a soft voice.

Kevin nodded and pushed slightly deeper into his partner, about an inch. He could feel how tight Connor was around him. It felt absolutely amazing, but Kevin knew it must have been uncomfortable for Connor. Kevin, on the other hand, had never felt anything so heavenly before in his life. He would have given anything to just start thrusting in and out, but he knew that would hurt Connor and would never want to cause him any pain.

“Are you still alright?” Kevin whispered, reaching down to stroke Connor’s cheek. “Am I hurting you?”

Connor gasped after the last push and nodded. “It burns a little, but it doesn’t hurt exactly. You can go deeper.”

Kevin nodded before pulling out and applying a hearty amount of lubricant to both of them, Connor smiling inwardly at his partner's tenderness and thoughtfulness. He clearly wanted Connor to be as comfortable as possible and that warmed his heart. Afterwards, Kevin slowly pushed into Connor again, this time going another inch deeper. He pulled out fully a second time before pushing into him again about four inches deep.

“Wow.” Kevin exhaled as he slid more easily into his partner, trying to comprehend how anything could possibly feel this incredible. “Being inside you feels amazing.” Kevin murmured softly as he leaned in and placed a soft kiss onto Connor's lips.

“Oh…” Connor moaned softly through the kiss once Kevin was back inside of him. “That feels so good.” He purred, closing his eyes.

Kevin gazed down at Connor, who was moaning softly and had beads of sweat dripping down his face, before pulling out slowly then back in one more time very delicately, still not wanting to push hard or inward all the way in fear of hurting Connor.

“You can go deeper.” Connor spoke in a guttural moan. “It’s okay now.”

Kevin pulled out again and this time pushed nearly all the way inside of him before he felt Connor jump a little and saw his eyes pop open suddenly.

“Too much?” Kevin asked worriedly, freezing his movement.

Connor looked like he was hurting a little bit, but he shook his head. “A little, but I’m okay.”

Kevin carefully pulled back out of his partner completely and applied even more lubricant to himself and to the inside of Connor’s opening. “This should make it feel better.”

He re-entered his partner’s opening easily this time as it was fully stretched out by now and freshly lubricated and Connor was able take Kevin into him fully without too much pain. As the tip of Kevin’s member glided over the rough patch of skin inside of Connor’s body, it caused a surge of intense pleasure to wash over him.

“Oh my god!” Connor cried out loudly. “Oh!”

“What!” Kevin yelled back in fear, pulling out immediately. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you again?”

Connor shook his head, sweat pouring down the sides of his face. “No, not at all.” He murmured softly to Kevin. “That just felt so…amazing...oh, Kevin." He cooed, a tired, content smile gracing his face. "Please keep going. You can do it harder, it doesn’t hurt anymore. Please…Kevin.”

Kevin grinned and re-entered Connor and began slowly thrusting in and out, waves of pleasure emanating over both of them each time he pushed all the way inside. Kevin wanted to please Connor in other ways so he reached down every so often and stroked his partner’s hardness while thrusting, sending double waves of sensation throughout Connor’s writhing body.

“Oh god, yes. Harder, do it harder.” Connor screamed, no longer caring if the others in the small house could hear him. “Don’t stop…please…Kevin, please...” He trailed off as Kevin obeyed and quickened his pace. “Don’t stop, Kevin. Please don’t stop…harder. Ohhh...” He moaned, arching his upper body back and panting uncontrollably.

Kevin continued to quickly pump in and out of Connor’s opening, each time grazing against the wall inside of him causing Connor to scream out in pleasure. After several minutes of thrusting in and out, Kevin reached down and stroked Connor’s hardness once again, but with more fervor this time as he pumped into him at a faster pace. As Kevin thrust harder and stroked his partner’s member with quickness, Connor suddenly let out a deep, guttural scream and a speedy stream of white fluid shot out of him, landing on Kevin’s chest.

“Ohhh!” Connor yelled as the fluid escaped his hardness and his suddenly limp, relaxed body collapsed back on the bed, his hands trembling and his eyes closed. “Oh…Kevin.” He moaned softly, reaching up to caress Kevin's face.

The sight of Connor’s orgasm made Kevin’s heart nearly explode. Overcome now with raw desire, Kevin began pounding roughly into Connor, thrusting faster each time before finally emptying himself out completely into his partner’s limp, depleted body.

After finishing and collapsing on top of him, Kevin stayed inside of Connor for a while longer, enjoying the feeling of closeness it produced. Both of their breathing was still erratic and their minds hadn’t completely started working again yet. Kevin could hear Connor still moaning his name softly, causing him to grin wildly. Kevin felt Connor’s arms reach up to bring him in closer and they laid together like that for a few minutes of peaceful bliss until Kevin finally sat up and gently pulled himself out of Connor's opening. As he did so, the condom slipped off his now-limp penis and he could see a trail of white semen slowly seeping out and onto the sheet.

“Oh, wow.” Kevin exhaled, panting, staring at his own semen dripping out onto the sheet from the condom, his mind slowly returning to a functioning state. Kevin tenderly moved Connor’s limp body over onto his side so he could gaze down on what he had just done to his partner. Kevin trailed a lone finger along Connor’s stretched opening, wiping off a bit of rogue fluid that was slowly dripping out of him. He couldn’t believe that Connor had allowed him to do this to him…to be _inside_ of him like that, to empty himself out inside of him. The intense vulnerability of it all welled up in Kevin’s chest and a tear accidentally slipped out of his eye.

Connor was still panting uncontrollably, trying desperately to catch his breath. His mind was slowly turning back on and finally, he reached out to Kevin again, wanting nothing more than to hold his boyfriend close. "Kevin..." Connor pleaded. Kevin’s finger left his partner’s opening as he moved up to lay beside him and Connor could see that he had tears in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Connor asked quietly, still catching his breath. “Wasn’t it…good for you?”

Kevin laughed softly, trying to still catch his breath. “It was absolutely…amazing.” He leaned in and wrapped Connor up into his arms for a warm, tender embrace. He could feel the sweat trickling down Connor’s skin that was flushed pink, glowing. “You’re so amazing.” He cooed, nuzzling closer. “My sweet, perfect Connor.” He leaned in and softly kissed him.

Connor returned the kiss and snuggled deeper into Kevin. “No, you’re amazing. That felt incredible....Kevin. I don’t even have words to describe how incredible.”

Kevin smiled and held onto Connor tightly for a long time, the latter boy occasionally drifting off to sleep. As Kevin slowly started drifting off to sleep as well, he felt the familiar brush of Connor’s hair rubbing against his face and he was overcome with an all-encompassing feeling of never wanting to let go of this person. He planned to hold onto him forever. Kevin leaned over and kissed Connor’s forehead gently. “I love you so much, Connor.”

Connor sleepily opened his eyes and smiled. “I love you too, Kevin.”

 

 


End file.
